Help! I think I’m burning holes in my esophagus!

I must warn you all, I like to write... I have been very fortunate so far (10ish weeks) to not have the typical morning sickness that a lot of women seem to get. But last night was a whole new experience for me. For anyone who has had a very bad case of heartburn, I’m sure they can relate to what happened to me last night. But for those that have not yet experienced the joys of burning insides, let me explain what happened. It started as a little upset stomach, the kind that you might feel when you are not sure if you are really hungry or whether the thought of food disgusts you. Since I am a food-a-holic, of course I decided that I must be hungry. So I sat down with some friends at home group to enjoy one of Esther’s delicious meals complete with homemade bar-b-que meatballs, cheesy mashed potatoes, salad, grapes, and lots of bread. (I never seem to get enough bread!) After dinner I started to feel this weird climbing sensation in my chest, like my food was trying to escape. I could feel it moving up my throat and I couldn’t help but picture a volcano. Sooner or later I felt like I was going to blow up or melt down and as the night went on, the food started to feel more and more like a river of lava snaking down through my throat all the way to my stomach. (Yes, I could feel it all the way down.)

It was late when we left, and by that time I had to try a piece of her awesome carrot cake which didn’t help matters one bit. On my way home I was convinced that Mount-eat-away-my-insides was going to start erupting steamy lava and poisonous gases. I was doing my best to hold it in. Then when I got home I sat next to my porcelain friend praying to spew forth the acid rain I knew was coming and rid myself of the horrible feeling.

John, being the sweet husband that he is, offered to go get me Tums at 1:00 in the morning but it was so late and he had to get up early for work. I didn’t want to make him run to the store for his crazy pregnant wife. So, after looking up Maalox in his drug book and determining that it was ok for pregnant women to take, he fixed me up a shot-glass. (No joke – we didn’t have a medicine cup.) Now, as my mom can confirm, I am not a liquid medicine person. As a child I would cry and it would take me an hour to down one little ounce. Even in my adulthood, I cannot hold down any form of cough syrup or other liquid gross-ness. And so there I am, still next to the toilet, shot-glass in hand. John is trying to walk me through this, “Just shoot it honey – it will only taste bad for a minute and you’ll feel so much better afterwards.” I gave it a good sniff – big mistake. While I’ll admit it smelled as lemony as he said it would taste, but it reminded me of a thick kitchen cleaner. Actually, not much different than that creamy soft scrub stuff we use to clean my porcelain friend.

I finally had to close the door because after 10 min John was started to get impatient with me. As I threw back the shot of lemony milk in true pro fashion, my gag reflexes took over and completely blocked the entrance to the fiery pit. Missing the toilet I sprayed it all over the seat and floor and that’s when the tears began to flow. This was not the kind of rain I was hoping for and as none of the medicine made it down my throat, I was still in misery. The faint taste of chalk still on my tongue, I felt completely defeated and unwilling to try it again. I figured sleep would be my only cure so crawled into bed and fell asleep, dreaming bits and pieces of all the volcano movies I’ve seen recently.

It seems funny now that I look back at this “traumatic” experience but I fear this is only the beginning! I don’t know how I am going to be able to stomach that nasty glucose stuff that I hear is coming my way later on in my pregnancy. I wonder what they will do if I can’t get it down? But back to the heartburn issue…anyone have any suggestions for cures that don’t involve sipping soft scrub?